


The movies always made it seem so simple.

by hedwwig



Series: Studies in Introspection [1]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 10:24:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1507085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedwwig/pseuds/hedwwig





	The movies always made it seem so simple.

She’s not crying. That’s good, you think, except it’d be totally normal for her to cry. You hadn’t prepared yourself for Not Crying.  
In retrospect, you really should have. You should have known her better. You keep looking into her dry eyes, blink once, suddenly understand.   
You should have done a lot of things.

You can hear every tick of the cat shaped clock in the kitchen, broken down into three distinct clicks:   
The departure, the arrival, and the bounce.   
You prefer digital clocks. Analogs keep you painfully aware of how slowly time always seems to move these days.   
You and Annie compromised on Felix the Cat. The nostalgia appealed to your aesthetic.

Another blink. She’s still not crying, and you know she won’t. Luckily only about three seconds have passed. You’ve taken one breath.   
You shouldn’t have blinked again. That’s too much in such a short time span. Too much for anyone, much less you.  
You wonder why you spent so much time practicing your smile when you were once so well versed in the art.

She blinks now, looks down. You see her tongue move out to moisten her lips. She wants to speak.   
You want her to. So badly.   
She sighs, instead, and you blink again. The infernal cat in the kitchen behind you keeps ticking. So slowly. Too fast. Much too fast.   
Son of a bitch.

She looks up at you, making eye contact only briefly. You hate that.   
You know by all the rules of engagement (or whatever you’d call the rules for a situation like this one)   
You should look deeply into your counterpart’s eyes. Conveying honesty and sorrow and… whatever else.   
So you try. But you don’t know what you’re conveying exactly. Not when you’re not playing a character. And she can always tell when you are.

Her eyes are now focused slightly over your left shoulder, six feet behind you. Without looking, you know exactly what photo is there.   
She glances back at you, then to the photo. Does she want you to look at it, too? Why? You can describe it in perfect detail. She knows that.  
You look anyway, to appease her. #AnniesMove. Taken at her old apartment. All three of you were smiling.

Back to her, now. She’s taking a step toward you, face tilted upward. You’re only standing two and a half feet apart, as it is.   
Does she want to kiss you? You think it might be a bit late for that but goodbye kisses aren’t exactly unheard of, certainly.   
She stops, though, and finally speaks. This startles you slightly. You feel like you had no warning.   
Sixteen seconds have passed since your last word rang in the air like the aftershock of an earthquake. You blink again, more deliberately now.

"This was my fault." You hate to blink again so soon but the situation really does call for it.   
You look back at the photo on the wall, thinking maybe the people in it know something you don’t, furrow your eyebrows, back to her.  
Your body is betraying you. Racing heart, unsteady legs. What is she talking about? Of course it wasn’t. It was yours.

This is the thought that remains ricocheting between your ears as she walks calmly out of your apartment.   
The arrhythmic click of the doorknob she never had a key to is enough to spur you to movement, if not action, exactly.   
You walk into the kitchen and calmly smash Felix the Cat with your fist. You’ll buy Annie a new one.   
You walk out of the kitchen. Stare at the photo on the wall.

You can still hear the now nonexistent clock. Troy’s key to the apartment hangs on a hook six inches to the left of the photo, right next to yours.  
The departure. The arrival. The bounce. You blink once, suddenly understand.  
You should have done a lot of things.


End file.
